nonelvis | Fic request meme

An excellent meme stolen from

unfolded73:

If you could have me write a fic specifically for you, what would it be like? Fandom (duh), characters/pairing, genre, plot elements, kinks... what's your ideal fic from me?

I make no guarantees about when or if these fics will get written -- there's a kinkmeme prompt I have my eye on anyway ~~plus I need to sober up first~~ -- but if I do write the story, I'll credit you for the prompt.