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I keep meaning to post the updated list of my kinkmeme fics, and I suppose there's no time like the present. I've deleted the old post so that I can keep this as a master list. Assuming I write more ficlets, and let's face it, I probably will, I'll post all updates here.

(Also available at Teaspoon and AO3.)


Jenny sets out to shag all her father's ex-lovers in an attempt to understand him.
Also posted on my LJ as "Jenny's Journal." Warning for brief, accidental incest.

The Doctor's semen is lethal to humans. Except Jack.
Short and fluffy (well, as fluffy as something like this can get), but I'm very fond of the Doctor's second line.

pre!Rose (the episode) Jacobi!Master/Rose.
I am slightly ashamed to admit to this one. I didn't expect it to get quite so dark, and I couldn't find a way to fit in the explanation for why Rose is appearing in the Master's dreams, though there is a plausible explanation. (Yes, I really am so anal about my writing that I needed to come up with that explanation before I could write a kinkmeme ficlet.)

Donna/Rose. Public Sex.
Because the kinkmeme needed more femslash.

Martha can't stop fantasizing about the Master and the Doctor offers to help her out.
It would be an understatement to say that this one ended up in a totally different place than I expected it to when I started to write this evening. But obviously it worked, since someone left me the comment "This is so wrong it's right. I go wank now." Note: if the person who left that comment is on this filter, no need to identify yourself. Really. (But I do take the comment as a compliment.)

Mickey/Rose/Jake, heat, a flat tire.
The classic "I'm bored, let's shag" scenario.

Sex-toy!Autons
I believe I've already posted about this one. ::hangs head in shame::

Time Lords require 12 hours of stimulation to come. Rose, Martha and Donna take turns.
The joke at the end is weaker than I wanted, but this was still lots of fun to write. (Note: I wrote the first story in this thread, "12 Hours," not the second one.)

Mrs. Moore/Ricky/Jake - sleeping (with each other) on the job
I didn't notice until long after this was posted that soldered items could not also rotate in place. Ah well – that's the kind of mistake that slips through when writing comments fic. If I ever decide to post these to Teaspoon, I'll fix that.

Six/Donna - wrong TARDIS wrong bed, right Doctor.
Another entry in what I suspect will be a very long list of Really Wrong Things I Should Not Have Written.

Howard the Grocer/ Jackie Tyler ... and a satsuma.
I tried hard to make this one pretty. I think I mostly succeeded. Jackie doesn't get enough respect, you know.

Jackie Tyler & Jack Harkness make a sex tape. Ten watches a copy.
Forgot to add this one earlier. I had thought about writing this as crack, then realized how much more interesting the story could be (to me, anyway) if Jackie were treated as a normal human being instead of a joke.

The Doctor/Gaius Baltar: Jesus Imagery + Genocide + Self-Loathing Man-Pain = Kink
I had my eye on this one for ages. I think I must really enjoy writing angst or something. Also, this is my first (and probably only) BSG fic.

Doctor/Master spiky cocks
There is absolutely no way I'll be able to apologize enough for this, is there? Especially because I wrote the sick and twisted story, not the crack.

Doctor/Master: Harry Potter role-playing with added sex.
My writer's ego is just big enough to be incredibly pleased at the reaction to one particular line in this story. The instant I wrote this line, I knew it was the right thing to say.

Four/Donna, meeting at an orgy
Probably not orgiastic enough, and certainly not my best work, but eh, it's not bad.

Luke Rattigan/Miss Evangelista; he's clever, she's a bit of a ditz: opposites attract.
I have no idea why this prompt finally grabbed me. Luke is a nerd-boy, so it's easy for me to get inside his head; it's the beautiful, ditzy girls I really can't relate to. Nevertheless, I think this one turned out pretty well.

Nine/Martha, pref. set between LotTL and Reset. Wibbley wobbley, timey wimey.
I love writing poor, angst-ridden Nine. Love it.

The Doctor turns out to be smooth like a Ken doll. Why is Rose so pleased?
Because I really wanted to write some crack, and also because once I came up with the punchline, I couldn't stop laughing and had to write some fic around it.

Master/Lucy till death do us part...
This is a very abbreviated version of something that started rolling around in my head once I saw the prompt – the idea that the Master and Lucy would get off on near-death sexual experiences. But I didn't have time to flesh that out, so this is what happened instead.

Nine/Jabe, gardening
I love Nine/Jabe, and there isn't very much of it. Plus Nine/Jabe has ample opportunity for angst, and like I said about the Nine/Martha story, I love writing angsty Nine.

Four/Romana II: sex at Parisian landmarks
I had so much fun writing this. I haven't been to Paris in more than 20 years, but I put two locations I visited in the story anyway: Sacré-Coeur, because it is gorgeous; and an indirect reference to Berthillon, makers of incredible cassis sorbet, and a very short walk from Notre-Dame. (In working on this story, I took advantage of a wonderful virtual tour of Notre-Dame. It's only available in French, but the panoramic VRs don't need translation.)

Doctor/Donna - sex on the Planet of the Hats
This prompt was calling out for crack, and fortunately, that's what I was in the mood to write that night.

Doctor/Chloe O'Brien (from 24). The Doctor appreciates Chloe's brilliance, and Chloe's happy to find someone on her level.
I'm a little over 24 -- last season bored me a bit -- but I adore Chloe the rude, socially maladjusted, genius geek girl, and about halfway through writing this, I realized I really wanted her to be a future companion. She'd be an über-smart, ass-kicking companion.

Master/Lucy Saxon-who-is-secretly-fobwatched-Romana
I don't know who came up with this prompt, but I want to thank them. I loved writing this, and I am really happy with the result.

Donna/Eight (using plot twist of Journey's End)
I am now responsible for Four/Donna, Six/Donna, Eight/Donna, and Ten/Donna. Don't hold your breath waiting for Two/Donna. (Note also that the original version here has a slightly different ending than the version posted on Teaspoon, so you may want to read both.)

Donna/Rose - Rose seduces Donna, and the Doctor secretly watches
This is the second voyeurism story I've written for the meme, but it feels sufficiently different from the other one, at least to me. It may also tread a little too close to the cliché of all women being willing to turn lesbian for male enjoyment, which was not my intention. Ah well.

Ten/Rose/Hand!Ten - Rose bondage with blindfold, doesn't know which Doctor is doing what
Please, anonymous prompter, cater to my kinks. The end of this might be a little purplish, but the story ran away from me a bit at the end. Sometimes these things happen.

Four/Rose, bondage with the scarf.
Scarf bondage: an old classic. It was a little tricky working out how Four and Rose could meet, and as a result, I wrote this story over three days instead of a single evening, as with all the others. But I'm pleased with how this one turned out.

Arthur Eddington/John Smith - gentleness. They disagree about spanking. Arthur shows John it's not necessary.
This is not the story I had in mind when I first heard there was an Eddington/Smith prompt on the kinkmeme, but the prompt called for Eddington showing Smith the ropes, as it were, so I went with this story instead. Someday, if I have nothing else to do, I'll start the novella I'd need to work out a more believable way the two men could have a relationship together.

Jack/Myfanwy fisting, with Neil Gaiman watching
I think the Teaspoon version of this is better, since it fixes the pterosaur/dinosaur error and also includes more awful sex. One line of this story is blatantly stolen from Mad Larry, but really, he was asking for it by posting that line in the first place. And as for the punchline – it'll only be funny to a subset of people reading this story, but hopefully that subset will really enjoy it. (Or maybe just consider it plausible.)

Nine/Romana II, amnesia and insomnia
Kinkmeme birthday fic! This is one of those stories that pretty much went directly from my brain to the page with very few edits, though I did ask [livejournal.com profile] platypus to review it, since I didn't want to screw up the kinkmeme's gift.

Ten/Rose: after going to the beach and drying off, there's dried salt all over them
[livejournal.com profile] platypus needed cheering up, so I wrote her porn. The sex ends a little abruptly here, something I hope I fixed in the Teaspoon version.

Jack/Ten/2008!Sarah Jane, Ten sandwich
This one took a long time to write, not just because it's over 2,000 words, but also because I had to toss my first attempt at it. It just didn't come together until I hit upon the multiple-POV/flashback approach. (The other thing holding me back was that I couldn't write it until I knew the feeding habits and lifecycle of the sex bacteria, because I am anal like that.)

Eleven/Belle from Secret Diary of a Call Girl – bondage, strap-ons; Eleven wants to work out some issues that Ten left him with.
By completely bizarre coincidence, I was reading Belle de Jour when I noticed this prompt. As with the previous story, it took a while to write – I'd never written Belle before, and I wanted to make sure I got her voice right. I feel like I got pretty close, but will leave it to other fans to decide.

Ace/Martha, scars
This one probably should have been kinkier, and when I first started thinking about how to write the story, I researched scarification and had an idea about how to work it into the sex. But the more I worked on the intro, the less I felt like my take on scarification worked in this story, so I ended up with a much tamer approach to the prompt. You never know, though; maybe the original idea will turn up in another kinkmeme fic at some point.

RoboSkull!Master/Ten, electricity and the kinky collar
Lord knows I have my problems with some of Rusty's work, but I could just kiss him for putting the Master in a dog collar. You can't tell me RTD isn't laughing his head off at the prospect of sneaking fetish material into family television. I was not surprised at all when a prompt about this turned up on the kinkmeme almost immediately after people found out about the collar, and even if what I finally came up with for this is a little more lightweight than I'd like (really), I had fun writing it.

Eleven/Romana II, she won't sleep with him until he's proven that he's less of an emo douche in this incarnation.
Not that anyone but me cares about this level of detail, but I spent considerably more time figuring out a plausible way a Romana trapped on Gallifrey could meet Eleven than I did writing the story. In fact, my explanation is consistent with the canonical details of EoT, so personally, I'm going to assume this is what happened after that episode, at least until Teh Moff demonstrates otherwise.

Eleven/Einstein, in Egypt, building the pyramids
Something tells me that this is probably not what Matt Smith had in mind when he wrote Eleven/Einstein fic, but you never know. Figuring out how to make this roughly canon-compliant with "The Pyramids of Mars" wasn't hard; figuring out how to give Einstein any character at all was, since I wasn't about to read a biography of his just to write a thousand words of porn. I settled on "scientifically inquisitive" as a character note, such as it was, but things didn't really fall into place until I realized I could tie Einstein's nearly lifelong quest for unified field theory into the story.

Eleven/Dream Lord, anything dark and disturbing
I'm not sure if this was dark enough for the OP, but I had a lot of fun writing the Dream Lord's dialogue.

Eleven/football team from "The Lodger." The Doctor is confused about male bonding and has seen too much porn.
My only fic for [profile] eleventy_kink so far; there may or may not be more fics later. Anyway, this is the sort of story where every time I read it, I think there has got to be something wrong with me, because normal people do not write stuff like this.

Eleven/Amy, sharing the bath in Liz X's palace
I so wanted to find a way to make this canon-compliant, but I just don't think it is. Eleven's surprised enough by Amy's advances in FaS that I don't think you can account for any sort of sexual activity before then, so much as I like to keep my work at least plausible given canon constraints, I think this one is AU.

Eleven/Romana, River totally ships it. Bonus points if she documents their sexings.
Fine, but not my favorite thing I've ever written for the kinkmeme. Someday I may go back and flesh out the Eleven/River-River/Romana story part of things, which is what really interested me about the story.

Donna/Martha, naked mud wrestling. Bonus if someone watches.
Good thing I've been to mud wrestling at Steer Roast, or I'd have had a heck of a time writing this. Writing the action was still challenging, and I had to put less sex in than I'd have liked, simply because sex in mud = hygiene issues I don't even want to think about. Anyway, the important thing in this story is that Ten gets his comeuppance.

Nine/Jackie, any kink
... aka "the kinkmeme story in which I totally forgot to include any kink" *facepalm* I did, however, try my best to slot it into canon: it begins somewhere not long after WW3, when Jackie is willing to try to make amends with the Doctor, and ends right before "Bad Wolf." You can even interpret the hesitation in Jackie's chip-shop speech in PotW as being her thinking back to her moments in the TARDIS with Nine. If you were, you know, me, and were clinging to any tiny shreds of dialogue that might make this story work with canon.

Nine/River, "no names, no regrets"
I'm sure I'm not the only person whose head!canon involves River shagging all the previous Doctors (or at least trying her damndest to get a complete set), but then you end up having to deal with that nasty question of why Ten doesn't remember her. Thank goodness for hallucinogenic lipstick. I'm also rather fond of the intelligent wall concept I included here, so it may yet turn up in other fic.

Amy/Rose. Set after The Big Bang but before A Christmas Carol. Strap-on optional.
I started this one months before I finished it, because for some reason I was blocked on the porn, if not the setup. But I'd heard the kinkmeme had been quiet recently, so I dug through my unfinished stories and knocked this one out a few days later. I suppose technically the double-ended dildo I reference isn't quite a strap-on, but I'd like to think I met the spirit of the OP's challenge, if not the letter of it.

"[A] better goodbye to Rose. Cue 11 having dirty sexy kinky sex with Rose."
I really wanted to write one more fic in 2012 so that I could say I hadn't lost most of my fic-writing brain to a work project, and this was the first prompt that grabbed me enough to get me to write something. I'm not wholly satisfied with the results, which feel a little too rough-edged to me, nor am I convinced that what I wrote was "dirty" or "kinky" enough. (I do have to think that DP involving the sonic screwdriver qualifies as "kinky" -- it's just that I don't know what the OP had in mind with their prompt.) The final versions at Teaspoon and AO3 read a little better to me, so I recommend those instead.

Ian/Barbara/Martha, threesome set during the stuck-in-1969 section of "Blink."
I'm pretty sure there's fic out there where Martha meets Ian and Barbara, but I haven't seen any porn of it. Obviously, I had to fix that problem. (If it does exist elsewhere, though, please do point me to it.)

Eight/Romana, creaky motel room bed
My final kinkmeme story, and not one I personally consider all that kinky, but hey, OP, if squeaky bedsprings are your thing, I hope I did right by you.

on 2008-06-14 06:25 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] iainpj.livejournal.com
Sex-toy!Autons

That was so, so ... actually, not nearly as shameful as I thought it was going to be. (Though, honestly, there was one moment in the middle where I suddenly started hearing Billy Idol's "Flesh for Fantasy" running through my head, with the whole back-to-back thing.)

on 2008-06-14 02:01 pm (UTC)
ext_17485: (Default)
Posted by [identity profile] calapine.livejournal.com
Dude. Awesome.

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