OH MY GOD I've looked at this story I don't know how many times, iainpj read through it, all these people have commented, and you are the first person to notice I unintentionally repeated a question! I've fixed the first instance and will go correct the Teaspoon version next.
I'm glad you liked the "There are more questions" paragraph. It may be my favorite bit in the story, though I did wonder if it needed to be pulled in favor of more sex. It is totally a cheat because I worried that an entire story's worth of 20 Questions would be boring.
And how can he tell that Jack's grinning, looking at the watch, etc, at the end, before he removes the blindfold?
Hmm. I wonder if this is a POV problem? I have some other instances in the story where I describe Jack's reactions, so that one didn't feel out of place to me.
Um, and yeah, I'll post the other thing as soon as I re-read it and determine it doesn't suck.
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ninetydegrees
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on 2007-07-07 12:05 am (UTC)I'm glad you liked the "There are more questions" paragraph. It may be my favorite bit in the story, though I did wonder if it needed to be pulled in favor of more sex. It is totally a cheat because I worried that an entire story's worth of 20 Questions would be boring.
And how can he tell that Jack's grinning, looking at the watch, etc, at the end, before he removes the blindfold?
Hmm. I wonder if this is a POV problem? I have some other instances in the story where I describe Jack's reactions, so that one didn't feel out of place to me.
Um, and yeah, I'll post the other thing as soon as I re-read it and determine it doesn't suck.