OH MY GOD I've looked at this story I don't know how many times, iainpj read through it, all these people have commented, and you are the first person to notice I unintentionally repeated a question! I've fixed the first instance and will go correct the Teaspoon version next.
Urf. Sorry about that. I don't know how I missed it.
It is totally a cheat because I worried that an entire story's worth of 20 Questions would be boring.
That would only have worked if you were willing to describe 20 separate sexual results, which would have overwhelmed this story.
Hmm. I wonder if this is a POV problem? I have some other instances in the story where I describe Jack's reactions, so that one didn't feel out of place to me.
I will say that I wondered if that was something I should mention -- the middle of the story is wrapped tightly around Ianto's POV -- but you do describe Jack's reactions early when Ianto couldn't possibly have seen them, so it made sense that you did it again later. Jack's actions bracketing Ianto's reactions, more or less.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ninetydegrees
no subject
on 2007-07-08 06:36 am (UTC)Urf. Sorry about that. I don't know how I missed it.
It is totally a cheat because I worried that an entire story's worth of 20 Questions would be boring.
That would only have worked if you were willing to describe 20 separate sexual results, which would have overwhelmed this story.
Hmm. I wonder if this is a POV problem? I have some other instances in the story where I describe Jack's reactions, so that one didn't feel out of place to me.
I will say that I wondered if that was something I should mention -- the middle of the story is wrapped tightly around Ianto's POV -- but you do describe Jack's reactions early when Ianto couldn't possibly have seen them, so it made sense that you did it again later. Jack's actions bracketing Ianto's reactions, more or less.