The Mind Is a Dark Forest

How is it that I can successfully wean myself off the incredibly irritating Ten/Rose thread on TWOP, yet cannot stop watching the utterly mindless crapfest that is The Real World/Road Rules Challenge?

Maybe I should just fully embrace the stupidity and write myself bingo cards or a drinking game based on the show's many, many clichés. (And seriously, it worries me that I have watched enough of these to a) recognize the clichés and/or b) write an episode myself.)

• Team member says "Here's something I've always wanted to do: [insert totally unlikely extreme sport or bizarre challenge here, like pushing a train handcart]."
• Team member says another member "really needs to prove [him/her]self on this challenge."
• Team member says the team needs to "step it up."
• Two or more girls gossip about another girl and are shocked when they're called out as bitchy backstabbers.
• Two or more guys do something that indicates they have far more testosterone than brains.
• The first wild night of partying results in incredibly stupid behavior. (Bonus point if said behavior gets someone kicked off the show.)
• Tanya hooks up with anyone.
• Girls vote someone off based on internal politics.
• Guys vote someone off based on performance and appear shocked that girls would use other decision-making criteria.
• Show host seems stoned out of his mind.
• Team member narrates to camera what we have just seen onscreen, because we are too dumb to understand it otherwise.
• Team member is unable to solve a hoary brainteaser "puzzle" I'm sure I first saw back in elementary school.

Why can't I stop watching? These people are stupid, self-involved exhibitionists and yet I cannot look away.

There's something wrong with me, isn't there? Yeah, I thought so.