Donna flashed him an exasperated look, then furrowed her brow. "Wait, how can it be 11:20? I've only been gone 15 minutes since I met Bernard, and that was 10:40."
This is the one thing I still kind of itch to tweak a little, because I'm not sure how Donna can be so precise about the fifteen minutes. But I know the time thing went through a billion different versions, and this was definitely the most natural.
Also, I think this story is the most fun I have ever had beta reading. I didn't just have notes, I had diagrams.
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ninetydegrees
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on 2008-08-30 02:33 am (UTC)This is the one thing I still kind of itch to tweak a little, because I'm not sure how Donna can be so precise about the fifteen minutes. But I know the time thing went through a billion different versions, and this was definitely the most natural.
Also, I think this story is the most fun I have ever had beta reading. I didn't just have notes, I had diagrams.