Fic: Ribbed for Her Pleasure (Ten/Rose, Adult)

[nonelvis]

I'm somewhat caught up on Mystery Hunt work for the evening but am strangely distracted and unable to concentrate on either one of the stories I'm trying to write. So, in an almost pointless effort to feel productive, have a comments ficlet I posted elsewhere for a dare to write smut in which the Doctor's parts looked like this photo.



"Rose, before we go any further, there's something I have to tell you. Or, er, show you, I suppose."

"I waited a year for you," Rose said. "I can wait a bit longer." After all, the Doctor had pulled off the impossible, rescuing her from the parallel Earth, and now she was finally in the place she'd been dreaming of for the past three years – his bedroom.

The Doctor stood, one hand at the fly of his trousers, the other scratching nervously at his neck. "You might find this a little different," he began.

"It's okay," Rose said. "I've been with circumcised men before."

The Doctor made a sound halfway between choking and laughter, but finally unzipped his fly, loosing an iridescent blue, ten-inch spiral from his trousers.

"There," he said. "I realise it may seem unusual to you, but I assure you, the Gallifreyan penis is a magnificent and versatile organ, capable of penetrating you, delivering the equivalent of what I daresay would be spectacular oral sex, and providing a soothing buttocks massage, all at the same time."

"Right," said Rose. "Well, this explains a lot about how you could pilot the TARDIS without using your hands."

"Don't be silly," the Doctor replied. "I used my balls for that."

Comments

[profrobert.livejournal.com]

This is tangential, but when Clare and I were in Derry, we stayed at a B&B with a tiny frontage (basically a door and window wide facing the street), but that went into a very deep lot with additions, a back garden, etc. Clare said it was like staying at the Tardis, and much to my horror, I actually understood what she meant.

[nonelvis]

ONE OF US! ONE OF US!

[significantowl.livejournal.com]

*snerk* that last line!

[nonelvis]

You'd think I'd have better things to do with my time than write stupid dirty jokes, but apparently not.

[kalleah.livejournal.com]

You'd think I'd have better things to do with my time than write stupid dirty jokes, but apparently not.

It was a brilliant dirty joke. ;)

[nonelvis]

Thank you, though after having written this and and a couple of Martha drabbles that included penis jokes, I really do wonder if my inner self is a 12-year-old boy.

[elliptic-eye.livejournal.com]

"Don't be silly," the Doctor replied. "I used my balls for that."

WIN.

Can we have the sequel where he explains that away to the admitting nurse in S&J? ;)

[nonelvis]

That is a very tempting idea for a sequel, but I am (perhaps fortunately...) buried in work right now.

P.S. ICON LOVE.